5 College Essay Examples & What to Avoid in 2026-2027

Last updated on August 07, 2026.

College essays need to start strong. They’re competing for an admissions officer’s attention, and you don’t want to lose your reader before your story ever really gets going. Here are five opening college essay examples to avoid, in other words, what's more likely to lose a reader’s interest.

It's that time of year again. The point in the application timeline where students are, or should be, getting ready to write drafts of their essays. Crafting strong essays for the application can be difficult for students, even the most skilled writers. Especially with students expected to write multiple essays with very different styles, it can feel overwhelming to submit a confident essay.

Just remember that first impressions matter in life and in college essays.

Personal Statement vs. Supplemental Essays

When applying through the Common App, students are typically expected to write one personal statement submitted to every college and at least one supplemental essay per college.

The supplemental essay(s) demonstrate cultural and institutional fit for admissions officers. Many students refer to these essays as the 'why us' essays. And simply put, admissions officers want to learn why students are interested in the college and what makes them a great addition to their campus.

The personal statement, however, is an opportunity to show college admissions committees who the student is beyond the four walls of their classroom. Typically 650 words in length, the personal statement is, well, unique to each student. There is no 'right way' to write the personal statement, but we have a few tips to help students maximize their writing and avoid crafting a weak opening for their college essay. Each tip will also include an example of a real opening written by a former Collegewise student to demonstrate the tips we share!

To learn more about how to crack the supplemental essay, watch our Cracking the Supplemental Essays video!

5 Common App College Essay Mistakes

1. An Introduction to Your Story

Imagine a student is telling a friend a story about life as a pitcher on the baseball team. The student wouldn’t start with, “Often in life, we face difficult situations that ultimately benefit us. While we may not see it at the time….” The speaker would lose the person’s interest before ever getting to the good stuff.

College essays work the same way. They’re stories, and stories need a beginning, not an introduction; instead of writing a general introduction to warm the reader up to a particular topic, starting with a clear opening that ties to the story is the best way to pique an admissions officer's interest in what they might learn from reading the essay further.

Real college essay example: "The worst part about being the slowest runner on my school’s cross country team is that I occasionally fall so far behind that I have to stop and ask for directions."

2. A Famous Quote

An essay that begins, “John F. Kennedy once said…” is already on the wrong track. Unless the quote was actually directed at the writer, the reader cares a lot more about what the student has to say than they do about any famous person’s pithy words. The one exception? Quotes can be effective when they’re part of the story. Say a student is writing about their experiences on a sports team; including a quote from one of their coaches can make their story more impactful. 

Real college essay example: "My baseball coach always says, “We’re going to play smart baseball, gentlemen, because dumb baseball is no fun to play and even less fun to watch.”

3. A Definition

Opening with a definition like “Persistence is defined as…,” will probably not be a strong start. The reader, an admissions officer, doesn’t need the student to define words; they need them to tell a story that will help them learn all about who they are. If the personal statement is about persistence, explain how that trait is personified. Additionally, with the limited space students are given to share their stories, focusing on providing necessary details and leaving definitions to Google will help them maximize their writing. 

Real college essay example: "I hate heights. I am a complete scaredy-cat when it comes to heights. It must be genetic because there’s not much else that scares me. I’m usually pretty calm and composed. I have to be. There’s no time to be scared when you’re in the back of a speeding ambulance doing chest compressions on a nineteen-year-old motorcycle accident victim who’s just gone into full cardiac arrest. I did that last week.” 

4. Being Too Creative & Lacking Clarity

Some students try so hard to be creative, or to entice the reader with a sense of intrigue, that they sacrifice clarity. If the reader is one paragraph in and thinking, “I don’t have a clue what this student is talking about,” the arousing interest has moved to confusion. It’s certainly possible and often effective to begin an essay with a description that piques interest without necessarily revealing exactly what the description is about. What's important to remember is that although the personal statement is a unique essay, a student should stay true to the writing style they feel most comfortable with. 

Real college essay example: "Once you know what the chicken at Kentucky Fried Chicken looks like before it’s cooked, you will never want to eat it again. I love my part-time job, and I’ve worked there for almost three years. But I really don’t enjoy looking at that chicken before it’s cooked."

5. Anything that Would Show Up on Google

You might think you’ve read or heard the perfect opening someplace else—a book of sample essays, a speech, a line in your favorite movie, etc. But pirating someone else’s writing is plagiarism, and every college I can think of would frown on an applicant who steals other people’s work without crediting the source. There’s always that chance that your reader could recognize what you’re sharing. And if they have even the slightest suspicion, the answer will always be just a Google search away.

3 Essay Examples that Worked with Insights from Former Admissions Officers

Barnard College Personal Statement Example

"At five, I spent hours preparing for my debut performance at my Grandma’s retirement party, cutting out little snowflakes to accompany my shimmering Elsa dress and Olaf stuffie. I took a page out of Elsa’s book, channeling her strength and independence. For many years, being onstage was the only way I felt comfortable using my voice.

My favorite memories include large Filipino celebrations over Tagalog karaoke and good food. I grew up with powerful Filipino role models who always supported my dreams–my grandmother bravely left her family to immigrate to America, my mother persevered through medical school, and my father cared for my sister and me with empathy and kindness. But, I never saw people like me in movies or books, or even amongst my peers. I remember my excitement when I saw a small picture of a Filipino flag in a graphic novel. I couldn't wait to tell my Filipino friend about it, but she didn’t match my enthusiasm. Her response made me wonder if I should tone down my pride, as if it might be too loud for others to handle.

Growing up, I constantly dealt with others’ misconceptions. People mistook my mom for my nanny because of her darker skin; at my school’s Asian Affinity Club, I watched people's faces twist in confusion as I explained I was Asian–after they had assumed I was Latina or Polynesian. In seventh grade, my struggle to fit into others’ expectations was amplified when I realized I was part of the LGBTQ+ community. I didn’t know how to tell people or if I should, so I sat with the feeling that I was meant to be different–apart. I wanted self-acceptance, but how would I present my identity in a way that was both acceptable to my family and true to all parts of who I am?

During freshman year, I had the opportunity to perform at the annual regional Voices for Hope concert. Although I was still sorting out the bits of who I was, I thought back to my first performance as Elsa for inspiration–one thing I knew for sure was that I loved music. As I prepared for VFH, I sang through soundtracks deciding on the perfect song to help destigmatize both mental health challenges and seeking help. As I tested song after song, I found myself connecting with their vulnerable depictions of grief, loneliness, and sexuality. Listening to expressions of raw human imperfections and unconventional aspects of the artists’ identities, I felt inspired–and less alone.

As my experiences broadened, I saw fellow Filipinos loudly celebrating their culture at my cousin’s Philippine Cultural Night, and through local Pride celebration and my high school’s supportive LGBTQ+ community, I saw others displaying the pride and comfort in their sexuality that I strived for. I realized I didn’t have to fit into stereotypes, and I could love myself without needing validation from others.

As my self-confidence and pride increased, I wanted to use my voice in a new way–to represent the Filipino community and to create a space where others feel included, regardless of their identities. So, as part of the National Teen Board at Beyond Differences, I created Belonging Boosters–15-minute lessons designed to build a sense of belonging and enhance social-emotional learning in middle schools by developing empathy and an appreciation of cultural differences. Through these lessons, I was able to prompt empathetic thought in kids across the nation. I also created examples of diversity and inspired others to share their cultures by sharing my own.

Last December, I stared in awe at the 2,700 audience members in a renowned concert hall as I performed a solo. It was a very different solo than embodying Elsa at age five, but no less impactful. Now that I've found the full range of my voice, I hope to inspire young LGBTQ+ Filipinas, and anyone else having trouble finding where they belong."

Why This Essay Works

When asked why this college essay stood out, Emily Stevenson, Collegewise counselor and former UC San Diego and Rutgers University application reader, chalks it up to authenticity and genuine storytelling. "This is a strong personal statement because it allows the reader to connect with a person, not just another applicant. Through the narrative, the reader can gain a clear sense of who the student is, what shaped her, and how those experiences influenced what she chose to do. It's authentic, genuine, and reflective. The student identifies an area in her community that affects her personally and then shares how she took action to create change in a meaningful way. That's the exact type of student colleges want on their campus."

What to Avoid

Rooting an essay in vague, abstract reflection is a fast way to lose a reader. This student could have easily stayed in the realm of generalities, but instead, they focused on reflecting on a concrete moment. 

A few specific pitfalls this essay sidesteps worth calling out for as you draft your own essay:

• Trying to cover too much ground. This student focuses on clear examples that connect back to them finding and using their voice. Essays that jump between experiences without a connective thread can feel scattered.
• An easy resolution.  It can be intimidating to say "I haven't figured it all out," especially to an admissions reader who is evaluating your college readiness, but it's perfectly okay to admit that while you've figured some things out, other things are still a work in progress.

NYU Personal Statement Example

"Tears streaming down my face were the last thing I expected after a holiday at my dad’s house. But as I sat in the backseat of my mother's car, surrounded by her quiet, loving presence, the weight of every emotion concealed over the weekend finally caught up to me. Younger me always dreaded a holiday at my father's because no matter how many times I stayed there, it was a place I could never call home.

I felt like an overlooked piece of a puzzle that did not fit into my father’s lifestyle. Spending a holiday with my father meant sitting with my step-cousins, whom I hardly knew, on the long staircase of my stepmother's cousin's home. Across the hall, trays of potluck dishes and sweet egg tarts from a local bakery crowded every foldable table. Holidays with them also meant the house overflowed with voices and people filling the walls with conversations held in Cantonese and English. When my parents divorced, Christmas and Thanksgiving became the set times for visiting my father. The drive from from place to the next felt long and quiet, filled with short, surface-level conversations of “How are you? How has school been? What grade are you in again?” Some questions that I knew held
more distance than care. That silence, paired with the quiet ache of feeling like a guest in another family’s traditions, became a weight I carried each visit.

Back home, life with my mom and grandma was the polar opposite. It was a feeling of comfort and familiarity. Our home was quiet, but I never questioned if I belonged there. On weekends, the three of us would regularly gather around the hot pot table, dipping our chopsticks into the bubbling broth, and then on the couch watching our favorite Chinese rom-coms, whispering about
which character we hoped the main lead would choose. As I grew older, I realized that their love was never displayed in words, but instead by their actions. In our home, fruit wasn’t just a snack, but a quiet way of demonstrating our love. My grandma showed me she was there for me during late-night study sessions by bringing me carefully hand-peeled tangerines, and my mom would buy me surprises like donut peaches even if I had only mentioned liking them once.

Even though I was a quieter version of myself at my father's, I learned how toobserve, make room for others, and recognize when someone feels unseen. I used to think the distance I felt during those holidays meant I didn’t belong, but now, I see it as the very thing that shaped who I’ve become. At the same time, my mother’s unconditional love and my grandma’s quiet care taught me that love doesn’t always need to be spoken aloud. Their small, consistent gestures showed
me what it means to be appreciated and feel at home.

I started finding that same feeling of belonging in places outside of my family. I found it in quiet moments of laughter with friends, who embraced me as I am, and in volunteering alongside others who simply wanted to brighten someone else’s day. When I was younger, I thought I could only have one home, but now I realize home is more than a place. It’s the feeling of being noticed, accepted, and loved for who you are. Sometimes, it’s three people gathered around the hotpot table, and
other times, it’s a shared smile across a crowded room. But no matter where, that feeling of being truly seen is what turns any place into home.

It’s those moments that have stayed with me, that I continue to carry with me as a quiet promise. A promise to be the kind of person who helps others feel at home, even in places that don’t quite feel like one yet."

Why This Essay Works

Karen Kimball, Collegewise counselor and educator with 30 years of experience, believed reflection was what took this student's essay from good to great. "Jessica embraced the reflective process of applying to college. Throughout junior year, I assign a piece of writing per month to help students engage in reflection, learn more about themselves, and practice articulating their values. Jessica was all-in; she maximized the chance to exercise her reflective muscle."

She adds, "When the time arrived to brainstorm and produce her Common App essay, she knew her writing voice well. She approached the brainstorming and outlining with an open mind, responded to feedback, and ultimately produced (to no surprise!) an essay that showed the schools exactly who she is. That is what matters. The schools want to know the students. For that to happen, the students must know themselves. I am so proud to know Jessica and to have guided her on her path to college."  

What to Avoid

It's worth naming a few things that can be hard to pull off that this essay executes gracefully:

• Opening the essay with emotion, followed by more emotion. An emotional entry point can overwhelm an essay, but this student grounds this emotion in specific detail. 
• Focusing on the negatives. This essay addresses something very tender, but the student turns her attention to what she learned about noticing others rather than to any criticism or blame of her father. 

UPenn Personal Statement Example (Excerpt)

"Of the hundreds of cups of bubble tea I’ve tried, and the thousands of members I have met within FBLA, no two drinks have ever been the same, and no two people have been either. When I am behind the counter, scooping toppings, pouring tea, mixing sugar, and sealing drink lids, I am bringing comfort to others, putting a smile on their faces, and above all, sharing my love of bubble tea with them. When I am standing on stage in front of 2000+ FBLA members, I am guiding them with the tools and knowledge they need to step into the business world with confidence. In both roles, I craft a tasteful experience for each individual, whether in a 16-oz. cup or through a four-year journey."

Why This Essay Works

Kaila Brown, Collegewise counselor and former Vanderbilt admissions officer, identifies several strengths that stood out immediately: "This excerpt reveals a lot about the student's personality. The connection between bubble tea and FBLA is distinctive, and the way those two experiences are brought together gives us insight into who the student is beyond their activities alone." She adds, "It's also very descriptive. Those details allow you to really picture the experience rather than just being told that they enjoy it. And finally, they do a great job of showing leadership without ever having to say, 'I'm a leader.'"

What to Avoid

This essay takes a fun risk—building a whole essay around a metaphor—and it pays off because the comparison is developed with very focused and specific experiences. What to avoid if you plan to take this route:

• Metaphors without real connection can start to feel arbitrary.  For example: "My life is a pizza. My family is the crust, my friends are the cheese, school is the sauce, and my commitment to the community is the toppings. The toppings are the part everyone notices first, but without the contents underneath, the toppings wouldn't mean anything." One metaphor is forced to explain family, friendships, school, and impact all in 650 words or less. Stick to one or two specific experiences to drive your point home.

How Parents Can Help Without Hurting

Parents naturally want to help their students submit the strongest college application possible. But when it comes to the personal statement, there is an important distinction between supporting the process and taking over the writing. 

Admissions officers read thousands of essays every cycle, and experienced readers can recognize when an essay sounds more like it was written by an adult than a teenager. A student may have a compelling story, but if the language suddenly sounds unusually polished, formal, or unlike the way a student actually communicates, the essay can lose all authenticity. 

This is especially important in the AI era when colleges are becoming increasingly attentive to whether the college essay reflects a student's own work and voice.

So, what does healthy parent involvement look like?

1. Be a brainstorming partner, not a topic-picker. Ask open questions that help the student surface memories, detail, and meaning.

2. Create time and space for them to write. Help your teen choose a reasonable writing schedule and predictable writing blocks to ensure they have uninterrupted time.

3. Keep feedback limited, descriptive, and student-led. Focus on big picture questions, flag typos and unclear wording, and offer practical but limited feedback to avoid overwhelming your teen.
   
   
4. Celebrate milestones—a completed brainstorm, a first draft, final essay, or submitted application.

Parents can make the biggest positive difference when they help their teen feel seen, capable, and in control of their own story. 

An Effective Essay Writing Team

1.  Student owns: topic selection, drafting, revisions, final wording, and submission decisions.

2. Parent supports: time, emotional steadiness, organization, respectful brainstorming, and final proofreading when requested.

3. Counselor/editor supports: essay strategy, prompt interpretation, narrative direction, substantive feedback, and refinement—without taking over the student’s writing. 

Frequently Asked Questions

While there is no 'right' way to start any college essay, a few approaches may not be the best use of the limited space students have. Our list is just a few of the many tips we share with our students to ensure they're submitting confident essays to the admissions committees. In addition to our essay don'ts, we've come across a few frequently asked questions regarding college essays or the personal statement.

What are the Common App Essay Topics?

Each year, the Common App releases its 7 essay prompts from which students can choose and write. Although they usually stay the same, there may come a year when one or two may change. That's why it's important to review the prompts early. 

To read through the Common App's essay prompts.

Are there Essay Topics to Avoid?

In short, yes! What's important to remember is that college admissions officers read hundreds, if not thousands, of essays every application year, and they've read them all. Students need to write about their experiences and what helped shape them to be who they are, rather than what they feel admissions officers want to read. 

How Personal Should The Personal Statement Be?

Although the personal statement is a unique story for every student, many students write about personal struggles, challenges they face, and situations they overcame. And while there is no set list of topics to avoid, it is important to note that students should share as much as they are comfortable with. After all, a stranger will be reading this essay. 

Additional readings:

1. Politics in College Essays: 7 Ways to Get it Right

2. Let's Get Existential: How to Write a College Essay about Identity
   

About Us: With more than twenty-six years of experience, Collegewise counselors and tutors are at the forefront of the ever-evolving admissions landscape. Our work has always centered on you: the family. And just like we’ve always done, we look for ways for your student to be their best self - whether in the classroom, the applications, or in the right-fit college environment. Our range of counseling, test prep, academic tutoring, and essay management, all with the support of our proprietary platform, leads to 4x higher than average admissions rates.